The Alicia Agitation
by TrainsAreCool
Summary: Leonard and Penny are watching TV when a familiar face appears. First attempt at fan fiction!


**The Alicia Agitation**

**Leonard and Penny are watching the pilot of **_**'Nerds in Residence' **_**a new sitcom. Set between after 'The Recombination Hypothesis'. Rated 'T' for language. 1061 words. I own nothing relating to 'The Big Bang Theory'**

"I gotta good feeling about this, I mean anything which raises the profile of science has to be worth watching right?"

"Yeah, but nerds? Don't you guys ever get ticked 'bout people calling you that?"

"Doesn't bother me." Leonard shrugged. "Not only am I a nerd, I'm the King of Nerds."

Penny didn't reply, she just kissed Leonard and snuggled closer into him. He put his arm around her and their hands linked.

The scene on TV was a large apartment with three guys carrying in shipping boxes. One was blonde with glasses, one had dark hair and the last was Asian. They were all _extremely_ hot.

_"Well, that's all our stuff upstairs. Now we just gotta unpack - "_

Penny looked at Leonard, wide eyed.

"_They're_ the nerds? Holy crap I thought they were movers!"

"They look like the kinda guys used to cram me in my locker." Leonard replied. The shipping boxes had vanished and on-screen the three were now engaged in some comic business setting up their TV, DVD and Blu-Ray.

"_Wow, this is hard to figure out, I mean we've got three doctorates here - "_

"_Excuse me, four - "_

"_Sorry Stuart, I forgot you have two."_

Leonard was unimpressed. "Four doctorates and can't set up an entertainment system? Did they get their PhD's by mail order?"

"Don't get steamed sweetie. _I'm_ liking it so far," snickered Penny, "hot nerds, wow, who knew?" she finished, answering Leonard's mock glare with a mischievous grin.

As the entertainment system had assembled itself the three were watching 'Star Trek - The Voyage Home' and quoting lines to each other. Leonard's brow made a 'V'

"That's wrong, that's right but McCoy didn't say it, that's from 'Final Frontier', that's from Spock in 'Undiscovered Country', that's wrong and _that's_ from Battlestar for Pete's sake!"

"_Do or do not, there is no try." _Glasses said.

"Even _I _know that's Yoda!" snorted Penny. Leonard chuckled at her indignation. "Now who's getting steamed?"

_"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few - "_

"- the few _or the one_! What kinda fan gets Spock's dying words wrong? Which FYI are in 'Wrath of Khan' you dumbasses!" Leonard hugged Penny, his admiration of her going off the scale.

"Yoda, Spock and the Star Trek movies? I love you even more now than ten seconds ago!"

So far neither of them had found much to like. Nothing sat right as Penny pointed out, "They're all in designer clothes - must be thirty-five hundred dollars walking 'round there. That's a way upscale apartment too."

Leonard agreed. "That TV setup they've got? Gotta be at least four thousand bucks. Howard put ours together for barely eight hundred."

However it was the science that really bugged Leonard. "Those guys are referencing third-grade stuff - they're supposed to be doctors! And that whiteboard in the corner? It means nothing, it's just nonsense."

The Asian guy, who'd been absent reappeared. _"I just moved my Porsche, I was afraid it would get dinged."_

"Justa tell us he's gotta Porsche. Yeah, like all not-doctor doctors drive fancy foreign imports." she said, scathingly.

"Actually hon, Doctor Gablehauser's got a Porsche." put in Leonard, "And I drive a Volvo." he added.

"Sweetie, Raj told me his mid-life rocket's paid for with a trust fund, so's his hair transplant." said Penny.

"Maybe we should switch off." said Leonard, hunting for the remote. "Nah, leave it on, maybe it'll get better - or not get any worse." yawned Penny, passing it to him.

It got worse. A hot blonde wearing a very skimpy towel entered the apartment to a collective 'whoooo' from the audience. Penny shot bolt upright, her face colon capital 'O'

"Oh my God! That's Alicia!"

Leonard looked and cringed. Their former upstairs neighbour had been leading himself, Raj and Howard on to do stuff for her and they'd been too dumb to see it. He still felt guilty about the way he'd treated Penny, ignoring her while running round after Alicia. The fact that Penny had gotten into a fist fight with her made it way worse.

"_Hi guys, I'm Penny, I live - "_

"PENNY? SHE'S CALLED PENNY? THAT BITCH'S USING **MY** NAME?"

"_I was going to take a shower but there's something wrong with the waste - any chance one of you could come take a look at it?"_

"Yeah, get a guys hands on your slutty plumbing you WHORE!"

Leonard flung both arms round Penny to stop her going Nebraska on the TV. It wasn't easy - he had little upper body strength and a hundred pounds of fighting cornhusker was taking some holding.

"_We took this apartment because we can use our telescopes on the roof."_

"_That sounds interesting. Well, if you come up in the daytime make a noise - I often sunbathe up there - naked." _

"TRAMP! Just give 'em all a big 'ol eyeful why doncha! Hey fella, she's been round a _lot _of telescopes!"

"I'm an actress - "

"WHEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING STREET CORNERS!"

Leonard managed to switch off. Penny slumped as the screen went black, like someone had flipped a switch in her too.

She leant her head against his shoulder.

"Sorry sweetie, she just pushes my buttons." Penny sighed.

"It's kinda obvious you're not a fan."

"She creams my corn. She slept her way onto CSI and I betcha she did the same on here."

"Well, it sucked hon - maybe it won't last long."

They rearranged themselves into a snuggle. Penny spoke again.

"I'm disappointed for you Leonard. I know how much science and sci-fi means to you and all they showed was the same crap with hair, hot bods and money."

"Yeah, I thought it would maybe show science in a positive way. Kids are going to watch that and think it's all money and looks."

Penny looked into his eyes. "And girls'll think scientists _are_ like that and pass on guys who don't fit. If they'd only stop and look they could maybe find something wonderful."

She moved closer and kissed him slowly and gently.

"Something like we both have."


End file.
